My earliest recollection of performing began, like many out there, in church. (The irony of this fact and where I am now, basically ranting about the ever-increasing gorge between the church and the stage, will be a perpetual theme in the blog -I am feeling it.) Anyway, I remember being one of the three wise men in a kid's Christmas pageant at a small church in South Carolina, and I remember kneeling at the trough that held the plastic baby Jesus, and I remember falling over.
My first lead role was, again, in a church musical - Ants'hillvania, a re-telling of the prodigal's son with ants. Yeah - I know. Typical. Marty Rogers was the angel who cast me. Little did she know the monster she was creating.
Fast forward to high school. By my junior year, I had spent the better part of my youth performing in one fashion or another at the same church - a youth clown troupe, choir productions galore, a skit for the weekly youth meeting (Wednesday Night Live, a reworking of Saturday Night Live - we even started the meeting every week with a different skit, and shouting "Live from Bell Shoals, it's Wednesday Night!!!"), the list goes on. My Junior year I landed my first lead in my first non-church production, Blithe Spirit. I believe this show to be the one that made me realize what I was doing, and that I loved it. I lived for rehearsals every afternoon.
One Sunday at church, one of the parent volunteer leaders for our youth group came up to me, expressing concern that she hadn't seen me at Wednesday Night Live, or the leadership meeting, or choir practice. I was flattered that she had missed me, and explained to her excitedly that I had gotten the lead in the school production, and had been at rehearsals the past few weeks. Instead of congratulating me on my jump into "legit" theatre, and returning my enthusiasm that I had found something that I loved to do, she said something to the effect of: "Oh, well, I hope this acting thing doesn't keep you away from God."
This acting thing.
Away from God.
CRRRRACK - my two worlds, the stage and the church, who had up until this point shared a seamless coexistence, had begun to separate.
I am really quite proud of my response, and how quickly I came up with it. I replied, "No, it won't. God tends to go with me, seeing as how he's everywhere, including in my heart."
She had nothing to say to that.
It was after that I felt like I had to choose - the church or the stage. The church had begun to be highly politicized, in my eyes; that is to say, I started to notice how much it was a popularity contest, not much different than high school. It was filled with people who didn't dare let their peers know what they were really thinking, or better yet, doing, from Monday through Saturday. The stage seemed to greet me with open arms, filled with people who embraced their imperfections, as well as the imperfections of others, with people who felt free to speak their mind - in fact they were encouraged to do so. Ironically I started noticing how the church was the place filled with people wearing costumes and masks, and the theatre was where truth was sought after through bearing one's soul.
You can guess which one I chose.
That's not say, however, that I gave up on my faith. Quite the contrary. My faith in God, and His son Jesus is stronger today than it has ever been. What I was disappointed in, what I was disillusioned by, was the church - my church, to be exact.
I just became keenly aware of the hesitancy that lots of churches had (and still do, unfortunately, have,) towards embracing the use of art in all its forms to accomplish what I believe God intended the church to accomplish - to care for, encourage, motivate and inspire the people of this world, a in doing so to lead them to a relationship with Him.
Since then I have been on a journey to build a bridge between the stage and the pulpit. I have found some heroes (be they flawed,) and faced some villains. I've noticed some great strides over the past few years where churches have started to embrace the idea of art being a blessed thing, a gift from God, a way For God to communicate to others where language fails, and raw honesty is needed.
But I know things need to go further. Faster. Hence this blog. My meager attempt to make a ripple in the ocean against the tide.
In the upcoming posts, I hope to shine some well-deserved light on those heroes in my past, and share some other experiences, thoughts and insights, and we (I and you, the readers out there, whoever you are...) will be discussing the war between the church and Hollywood, where art becomes porn, the artistic heart of God, and whatever else comes up along the way - I'm open to ideas.
Until next time, here's hoping...
Steve
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